For the majority of my life, I have lived by the academic calendar. In school, the new year starts in September and I am whole-heartedly embracing this month as a fresh start - a chance to reboot and set resolutions. The past two years have been a rollercoaster of Covid chaos, business start-ups and fall downs, house move, field growing… After a mental return to the wedding circuit, I spent the second half of August burnt out. September became the perfect time to reflect on the past year and set resolutions.

My first resolution - sow more annuals in September rather than March. Due to our move last year, I wasn’t able to take advantage of the ideal sowing conditions in September – warmth, light and predictability. September sowings are also stronger and come into flower earlier than March ones as they’ve had the winter to bulk up. I’m in my greenhouse pretty much every day sowing a few batches of seeds into pots. Hardy annuals can be sown directly in the ground but I’m trying to keep tabs on what is germinating as for the first time I’m using mainly my own seed…

My second resolution is to sow more of my own seed. Hardy annuals have now gone over and are producing seed. I’m collecting like mad when it’s ripe (the seed pod is easy to shake or pop open) and sowing my socks off yet it is a calming activity with lots of time to think. It is great to be sowing the seeds mentally as well as physically for the new season. These calm times are important and I’m making the most of my third resolution…

My third resolution is to relax. I find relaxing incredibly difficult. I always feel like I should be doing something. The flower field is a daily physical reminder of a never ending to do list – all I have to do is look out the window and the jobs are staring me in the face. But weddings are incredibly tiring and take a lot from me mentally and physically. In moments when it is quieter for the business, I have a tendency to put on a lot of events or commit to deliveries meaning I never really get a chance to have down time and think strategically. I’ve finally recognised I can’t physically work my arse off relentlessly and that I need to recharge to be effective.

To do this, relaxing has to be part of my daily routine - this sentence makes me sounds particularly cool and laid back. The one thing I am doing to relax is walking the dog on my own once a day. That’s it. Not a big achievement but it’s a simple enough signifier of my work / life balance being off if I can’t get out and walk the dog. I’m going to try and tag on a few core exercises at the end of the walk gradually building up to some semblance of a workout. I can already feel the lack of commitment to this second half of the resolution as I write it but let’s just see.

And my final resolution… see more people. I am a reluctant extrovert ie. I can network, perform model lessons and give talks, but I never ever want to. In recent years, working with flowers and on weddings, I’ve had fewer and fewer opportunities to be extroverted and I’ve gone too far the other way – I’m now a hermit - a reluctant introvert… I don’t seek out opportunities to be with people yet I’m miserable on my own. To rectify this I’m trying to see people every day like a neighbour or friend but at work, I’ve reached out to a local college for work experience placements and I’ve applied to the council to hold workshops on the field. I miss working with people as well as plants.

Becoming my own manager has been complex. I’ve found I need time to sit down and assess myself and my performance, where I am and where I want to go. September has proved to be the perfect time to do this. I have enjoyed it so much that next year’s diary is blocked out in September.